Fire it up-OLD

Her Details.

Being born & raised in Louisville, KY, in the 70s & 80s by a powerful woman in ministry was no easy upbringing. My mother was strong, courageous, & outspoken. Through her influence, I earned a Theology degree & developed a passion for God’s Word. Due to her relentlessness, I made it back to God alive before it was too late.

We were always moving—homes & churches—making relationships difficult to maintain with no one safe place or person to anchor my soul. The unrelenting tumultuousness of my life made me easy prey to a deceptively alluring world. I always had one foot (sometimes both feet) in the world that took me on many detours & dead ends looking for acceptance, peace, fulfillment, joy, & love. 

​By all appearances, my life looked normal, yet earning multiple degrees & certifications, working for large corporations, starting my own business, making a lot of money, traveling, even marriage & children couldn’t fill the gaps of my broken heart.

Most of my lukewarm years as a Christian weren’t detectable by my outward behavior. I did everything a good Christian should do, from youth & young adult programs to women’s ministry, bible studies, church events, drama, praise & worship, street/house-to-house witnessing, missions, in-person & online teaching. I attended Bible School & church faithfully.  I studied the Bible & prayed religiously.  I helped hurting people.  I did all that was expected of a good Christian, things I was told would make a difference, but due to the condition of my lukewarm heart, I reaped mostly pride & a self-righteous spirit in my accomplishments & behavior.

In my 30s, I married my husband, Travis, & became bonus mom to his three children. A few years later, we adopted our two special needs daughters from China, catapulting me into the next major shift in my life. Becoming a parent opened my heart to seeing God for the first time—how He felt about me, the lengths He would go to for me, how much He loved me despite all that wasn’t working as it should. 

I knew the state of my own heart. I knew I was lukewarm & lived with that shame every day.  Always doing but never feeling good enough.  To Him, I must have seemed like a special needs child, too, & yet He loved me anyway.

Coming full circle, it was ultimately my relationship with my mother, the good & bad of it, that brings us to the present.  She’s the reason I knew about God to begin with, but she’s also the reason I know Him for myself today. In 2008, when I embarked on the real journey of a lifetime with my whole heart, I didn’t know that I was narrowly escaping would could have been the end of my journey just a few years later.  You’ll have to hear my full story to get the details, but even the detours & dead ends that seemed like wasted time, effort, money, & skill, God has weaved them into present-day purposefulness. 

And yet, all that pales in comparison to the joy of my joys:  my heart & His heart…on fire! 

<Hear My Full Story> or <Catch Fire to Inspire Your Desire for God>

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